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The ramblings of a smitten soul
My Journey Into Christ Consciousness
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When I was younger, I had no idea that the Spirit dwelled within me—I only knew that each time my heart bubbled with joy at something silly and small or aching sadness from an old memory, it felt like God’s presence in my life. It was like a breath of fresh air on a hot day, like the sun coming out when the rain stops.
As I grew older, the presence of God seemed to fade from my life, I crossed the desert of life, seeking water at one oasis after another. No matter how much I drank or, prayed somehow it never got any better. The older I got the harder it is to see him work in my life. I have felt weary, unfulfilled, and empty. My thirst for something more remained unsatisfied.
I spent years searching for a life of filled with peace, love, and joy, a life that would quench my spiritual thirst. But after decades of living in lifes desert without water, I began to despair: Would there ever be any living water? I kept drinking from sickly polluted wells until I could no longer continue. Even though my body and soul were exhausted, there was always a glimmer of hope—and the thirst was still there. But being physically, spiritually, and mentally weak—all I could do was lay quietly and let my body mind soul be as they were. Accepting my fate is in the hands of the universe.
As I awoke, I looked into the silence of the desert and saw a man walking on its heat waves and carrying a flask of water across his chest. He knelt beside me, gently lifting my head. He placed the drink on my lips and for the first time in a long while—living water flowed across my tongue. My strength was restored!
I looked into his eyes and thanked him for appearing when my hope was gone, but he only said it was good that I had given up on my spiritual quest and now rest—relax, be quiet; know I AM with you. For we are one: no beginning in time and space can separate us now or evermore!
Today, I am at peace. I need no longer fear or worry about anything in my life because the Spirit within me grants me inner calm and outer prosperity. What is the meaning of it all? How can I make sense of this experience—the agonizing search, so many false promises and dead ends? Only when I allowed the stillness of exhaustion to seep into my being did I surrender to the Spirit who was already within me and my thirst was no more…
I hope my story will help you in some way. Maybe you won’t have to endure the empty deserts, or narrow pathways leading nowhere when it comes to finding your life’s purpose. It wasn’t until I was completely exhausted that I learned how important it is for me to be here now and to relax and let go of control—let God be God and feel free again!
Blessings,
Robert Morgan “Bobby”
Throughout our lifetime we will find ourselves being judged. Sometimes the judgments are harsh and uncalled for, and other times they are needed, or even asked for, so we can grow and learn. Justified or unjustified, there are instances when our feelings are hurt by those who have judged us, and we become disconnected from our true selves as we become emotionally distraught in trying to make sense of the judgments.
When I was young, my mom gave me good advice when she told me to stay away from, or at least limit my contact with judgmental people; I can unequivocally say it was easier to do then than it is now. With social media, blogging and trashing internet news sites, many of us experience judgments about any and every aspect of our person. What was once somewhat avoidable is no longer so easily rendered void.
Having been on the receiving end of unasked for judgment, I know the emotional hurt associated with it. Though it has sometimes been painful, I’m thankful for going through these judgemental experiences; As with all things in life even what we perceive to be bad at the moment, always has a silver lining. One of those silver linings for me is I have been able to use my painful experiences to help others who are going through the pain of being judged, misjudged or even rightly judged.
Over the years I have helped others to use the following methods to deal with judgment. It’s straightforward, easy to understand and implement.
The pain you are experiencing from being judged, especially when the judgment is harsh or uncalled for, is real it affects you physically, mentally and emotionally. Let’s feel better:
Taking these steps, and having acknowledged that you’ve been hurt, you are releasing yourself from their judgment, and you’re grateful for what you have learned from them.
Blessings, Robert C. Morgan “Bobby” 2017
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Patience is needed by me. I know that having it in the forefront of my life will enable me to be in tune with the heart of my Father. I am so in need of grace and even mercy so I can live in the midst of God’s blessings. Please help me to be patient and to trust You for all my needs. Let my time be Your time.
Anger… Wow, how my impatience’ feed’s into my craziness. Am I ever going to be able to trust God? Am I ever going to not feel angry?
I sometimes feel like I have it altogether nothing can throw me off-balance; then without notice, the confidence is gone, I have crashed and burned. Blindsided again. Test after test, trial after trial.
What is it that I am missing as I traverse the earth at 30,000 feet? How is it that my frustration is utmost in my mind? Most of the time I feel pretty much in control of my thoughts and feelings, yet here I sit annoyed at being a little uncomfortable.
Hmmm… The old saying “ When you think you’re enlightened go home for Thanksgiving”. This really applies to me at this moment. The good thing is that it’s just at this moment I feel this way, and I can change my state of consciousness in seconds. I have to laugh at myself. Clowns to the left of me you on the right here I am stuck in the middle with you! And I do mean me when I say you! So with a heart of gratitude, I leave this ineffective state of being and enter into a heart of thanksgiving. A heart of gratitude. Oh, how lucky I am. Oh, how blessed I am. Oh, how whole I feel in knowing I am, the I am, and the I Am is me. By the way, I am no more, or no less than anyone else. It’s become clear that we are all the I Am and the I Am is all of us as well.
Robert “Bobby” Morgan
What is it that you want my son?
I want peace – That I may harm no person in spirit, soul, mind or flesh.
I want to love – That I may never judge another person. May I be blinded by the light of Christ that dwells in all mankind.
I want to forgive and receive forgiveness – That I may always be ready to see my weaknesses and wrongs and to seek forgiveness for pain and injury that I have caused.
I want to show kindness – That it would be my badge of honor. May it flow like a spring from my heart. May it cover my many faults and heal these I have hurt. May it right wrongs. May it always be the part of me that is ready to serve others, so they might recognize that they are You and we are all one in You.
I want to be gentle – That I may be the purveyor and recipient of this wonderful grace. May it hang like a cloud around me, so all that all who come into my presence are blessed .
To suffer well – That I may only have what I can endure. That I may always have enough to remain humble and dependent upon my Lord. That I would be ready to take on the physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, and any pain to help God’s children, who all are my brothers and sisters. I mean all people without any parameters!
I want to be filled with Joy – Knowing that I am doing exactly what brings a smile to my Creators face and causes His heart to sing.
Robert “Bobby” Morgan