When I was younger, I had no idea that the Spirit dwelled within me—I only knew that each time my heart bubbled with joy at something silly and small or aching sadness from an old memory, it felt like God’s presence in my life. It was like a breath of fresh air on a hot day, like the sun coming out when the rain stops.
As I grew older, the presence of God seemed to fade from my life, I crossed the desert of life, seeking water at one oasis after another. No matter how much I drank or, prayed somehow it never got any better. The older I got the harder it is to see him work in my life. I have felt weary, unfulfilled, and empty. My thirst for something more remained unsatisfied.
I spent years searching for a life of filled with peace, love, and joy, a life that would quench my spiritual thirst. But after decades of living in lifes desert without water, I began to despair: Would there ever be any living water? I kept drinking from sickly polluted wells until I could no longer continue. Even though my body and soul were exhausted, there was always a glimmer of hope—and the thirst was still there. But being physically, spiritually, and mentally weak—all I could do was lay quietly and let my body mind soul be as they were. Accepting my fate is in the hands of the universe.
As I awoke, I looked into the silence of the desert and saw a man walking on its heat waves and carrying a flask of water across his chest. He knelt beside me, gently lifting my head. He placed the drink on my lips and for the first time in a long while—living water flowed across my tongue. My strength was restored!
I looked into his eyes and thanked him for appearing when my hope was gone, but he only said it was good that I had given up on my spiritual quest and now rest—relax, be quiet; know I AM with you. For we are one: no beginning in time and space can separate us now or evermore!
No More Searching
Today, I am at peace. I need no longer fear or worry about anything in my life because the Spirit within me grants me inner calm and outer prosperity. What is the meaning of it all? How can I make sense of this experience—the agonizing search, so many false promises and dead ends? Only when I allowed the stillness of exhaustion to seep into my being did I surrender to the Spirit who was already within me and my thirst was no more…
You Are So Loved… You Are Never Alone
I hope my story will help you in some way. Maybe you won’t have to endure the empty deserts, or narrow pathways leading nowhere when it comes to finding your life’s purpose. It wasn’t until I was completely exhausted that I learned how important it is for me to be here now and to relax and let go of control—let God be God and feel free again!
Blessings,
Robert Morgan “Bobby”
The ramblings of a smitten soul 